I was excited when I visited Kink Of The Week today and saw this week’s topic; Funishment. Before reading Jade’s post, I had no idea that there was an actual term for our type of punishment play. As many of you know, Hubby and I don’t have the typical Dom/Sub relationship. Instead our kink is only for the bedroom. Sometimes I feel sort of like an outsider in the community because of it. But this week, I feel like we fit right in.
Punishment is defiantly part of our kink, but it’s not the typical ‘crime and punishment’ found in many BDSM relationships. Never something that’s scripted or talked about prior to our playtime, we don’t play out scenes. Instead, it’s spontaneous and we act within the moment. Eliciting punishment is a cue of sorts as to what we’re longing for from the other. Crossing a line, being a little brat during the day or even standing up in opposition lets the other know how we want to play.
With both of us being switches, we each have our own way to bring about Funishment. I tend to pull away from Hubby when he goes to touch me or defy his commands. I do it on purpose knowing what he’ll do. I know full and well what he wants, I know what he expects. Yet, whether I have it planned or if I just decide in the moment, I’ll do something to elicit a punishment. Hubby goes about it a bit differently. When I’m in control he will stub up and refuse my cock. With a big smile across his face he’ll tell me ‘no’ flat out. He knows what’s coming and I know he wants it.
There are even times when Hubby will make up infractions that require my punishment as a cue to let me know that he wants to play rougher with me. It’s his way of being the Dom and still being sensitive to my past. Asking my permission, so to say, gives me the chance to stop to his ideas if I’m not in the right head space that night. Because we don’t talk about things before we play, for us, it works perfectly to make sure our play leaves us both feeling great.
Funishment isn’t meant to be any type of real punishment. It’s used solely to bring pleasure to the other. The punishment type and how it’s doled out is chosen based on the enjoyment it will bring. Even the punishment type is chosen based on the other’s enjoyment.
Using Funishment as a tool adds another dimension to our playtime. It allows us to assert extra control and step into heavier play while pleasing each other. It also lets us have a bit of control and ask for what we want from the other without talking about it before we play.
Funishment is always welcomed and always enjoyed by us both.
A big thank you to Jade for introducing this topic and I can’t wait to read what everyone else has to share about Funishment.